Advice from a Wise Woman

Don't you just love Sister Beck?  There's a great website called mormonchannel.org that does interviews with church leaders (among many other things).  My mom recently sent me a link to an interview with Sister Beck about motherhood.  Around the 30 minute mark of the interview she talks about those women who have not been blessed with children.  I LOVE what she has to say. 

"It's a painful thing... to want children and not have them.  I think its okay to mourn that.  It's a very great grief and you can go through the stages of mourning but you don't live there.  You can't spend eternity there.  You can't spend this life there.  Acknowledge that you're sad and lay it before the Lord and say 'Heal me and help me through this grief and this pain; this sadness.  Because I don't want to live here in this spot. I want to be become productive and helpful and contributing. Don't negate my nature but help me get through a grieving process to a place where I can see and feel the joy'."

I can personally testify that the Lord WILL heal this sorrow.  I have spent many days and nights on my knees in prayer.  I know he hears us.  I know he answers all our prayers differently but it is what we each need.  And no matter how he answers those prayers (whether its the answer we want or not) he CAN heal us and bring us peace if we rely on him.

As I get to know more and more women that have experienced some type of infertility it is interesting to see how the Lord works so different in each situation. 

Each couple has their own unique experience and each couple has the opportunity to turn to the Lord and become closer to him. 

This month is national adoption month.  I have known many great women and families that have been led to adoption and their families have been greatly blessed because of it. 

Rachel, who has posted on this blog, is dedicating this month to share about her experience in adoption and to answer anyone's questions about the process.  Through their long process she had to rely and trust in the Lord.  I wanted to post a few of her words here.  If you want to read more or ask her questions, check out her blog.

I cannot stop thinking about babies. I am not tormented or depressed (most of the time), but it is just something that weighs heavily on my mind and my heart all day every day. What does God want for our family? Does he want us to adopt a special needs baby through an agency called Spence Chapin? Are we up for the challenge? Does he want us to stick it out with LDS Family Services? Does he want us to try harder for biological children, putting my body through the more intense fertility treatments that I am dreading? Does He care which path we take? I feel these nagging questions all the time, even when I am working on something else. When I’m grading papers, when I’m running on a treadmill…even when I’m sleeping. I can’t help but dream different scenarios of how we will get our baby.

I have never prayed so much in my life. I feel like prayers are inseparably woven into all of my thoughts these days. “What should we do? Please guide us Heavenly Father.” It’s like a refrain that plays in my mind all day long. And every morning and every night, I get on my knees and beg for guidance.

I remember feeling very similar thoughts and feelings.  As I read these words from Rachel and applied it to myself, I couldn't help but think that maybe sometimes we're not waiting on the Lord, the Lord is waiting on us.  He's waiting for us to have that complete reliance on him.  That continual prayer.  He wants us to learn to be that close with him every day, all the time.  Sometimes we have to learn it through hard things, but that's what helps us to learn and grow.