I wanted to share my thoughts on Mother's Day. I have been pondering a lot today on those years of trying to celebrate this holiday without children. It's tough--I would try to be optimistic and believe in words of Sheri Dew (thanks, Elise), but at the same time I would feel stupid when people would say "Happy Mother's Day" to me. But even though this day is a very important and special holiday, it is also just a day. And even though we put extra emphasis on mothers once a year, we are ALL given the responsibility to mother ALL the time. And that should be our highest aspiration whether we have children or not. Motherhood is not something that is given to us. It is our eternal make up and fiber.
I feel guilty from time to time for not getting a full time job while I was married with no kids. I admire those women who do. But I already had too much on my personal plate so I didn't go there. But I definitely still had a job--I was the nurturer in my home. That doesn't ever go away or change. We are unique and different as women. But the very things that make us unique are also the very things that make us the same--we are given gifts to develop that can help each other and the world--but most importantly we are given gifts to nurture our souls well enough that we can be effective mothers. Any time I feel like I am having a hard time, and am less than patient with people, it is because I have forgotten to remember what it is that I am supposed to be focusing on. The manifestation of our mothering is vastly individual. But the calling is the same. And I'm grateful for that.
All of this preamble has led up to what I really want to share. And that is that during my infertile years, we started a tradition in our family. Each Mother's Day, my husband gives me a priesthood blessing.  And despite the fact that I have received many answers to prayer and received many blessings--these are the ones that continue to bless and sustain me the most. It is clear that Heavenly Father knows my inner most soul. And whether I have had to wait longer for children or not, the increased feeling of love in my life is significant because of this tradition. So no matter your own unique situation, I highly recommend beginning your own spiritual tradition surrounding this day. I know it will bless you like it has blessed me. Happy Mother's Day! 

We Are the Lord's Secret Weapon

Since Mother’s Day and Easter fell so close to each other this year, I couldn’t help but reflect on the connection between these events.

Mother's day can be a hard when you are yearning for, but have not yet obtained, that most precious role of mother. I have come to learn that there is so much to celebrate on this special day whether we are mothers yet or not. One of my all-time favorite talks is by Sheri Dew titled "Are We Not All Mothers?”.

Not only has Sheri Dew never had the opportunity to be a mother, but she has never even had the opportunity to marry. She is a wise women of God and I love reading her words. She said:
*(note-emphasis is added)

“… both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living”—and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Motherhood...is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.
Elder John A. Widtsoe was explicit: ‘Women who through no fault of their own cannot exercise the gift of motherhood directly, may do so vicariously.’
For reasons known to the Lord, some women are required to wait to have children. This delay is not easy for any righteous woman. But the Lord’s timetable for each of us does not negate our nature. Some of us, then, must simply find other ways to mother. And all around us are those who need to be loved and led.
And we each have the responsibility to love and help lead the rising generation. How will our young women learn to live as women of God unless they see what women of God look like, meaning what we wear, watch, and read.
Every sister in Relief Society…is responsible to help our young women make a joyful transition into Relief Society. … Every one of us can mother someone… I repeat: We are all mothers in Israel, and our calling is to love and help lead the rising generation through the dangerous streets of mortality.
As mothers in Israel, we are the Lord’s secret weapon. Our influence comes from a divine endowment that has been in place from the beginning.
(Sheri L. Dew, January 2002, “Are We Not All Mothers?”)

I love that wording. We are the Lord’s secret weapon. ALL women! ALL of us! We are to be the examples, teachers and leaders of the rising generation whether it’s our own children, those we come in contact with at church, work, or in our extended families.

I have had the privilege of working with youth and children my entire life. I have become very close to many of them and I would hope that I have had some kind of positive influence on at least one of them. But it is humbling to know that, even though I don’t have children of my own yet, it is my responsibility (and yours and yours) to lead the next generation.

As we do our part to lead these children and youth it doesn’t take away the sorrow of being unable to raise children of our own. This is where the atonement comes in. Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles tells us:

“…our understanding of and faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ will provide strength and capacity needed for a successful life. It will also bring confidence in times of trial and peace in moments of turmoil.”
(Richard G. Scott, April 2010, “He Lives! All Glory to His Name!”)

Our Father in Heaven loves each of us. How merciful of him to provide this peace, confidence and strength when we need it most. I know that he will bless each of his righteous daughters with the opportunity to be mothers in this life or the next. In the meantime, we can practice being mothers by mothering those around us.

I have read a great blog post about this promise of motherhood. Read more about it here.